To Overcome Fear
by Leokitsune
Summary: Side fic to "Cathedrals of the Mind." Pre-Glühen. Nagi has to go back to Rosenkreuz, on assignment for Kritiker. Can he overcome old fears? WIP.
1. Chapter 1: Music in the Park

**To Overcome Fear  
****By Leokitsune**

A/N: Meanwhile, back in Japan. . . This is the story of what Nagi's doing during the events of "Cathedrals of the Mind."

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Chapter 1: Music in the Park**

Omi stretched, working out the kinks in his neck. He hadn't meant to fall asleep at his desk, but done was done. He looked at his watch. No wonder it was so quiet. Everyone had gone home for the day hours ago, even the undercover Kritiker people. In less than an hour, people all over the city would be gearing up for another work day.

He picked up his jacket. As refreshing as that nap had been, he needed to go home and get a few hours of sleep, at least. One of the great things about being the boss: you could make your own hours. The halls were dim, but one light was on in one of the offices that Omi passed. He peeked in and found his ex-rival hard at work, the piles of paper and cups of coffee clues that Nagi wasn't having an early start. More like a late night from the looks of it.

He entered the room fully and put his hands on his hips. "Nagi, when I asked you to help, I didn't expect you to make Kritiker your life. Go out, do something fun."

"Fun." Nagi paused in his work, seemed to turn the word over, test it out, then discard it. He went back to work on his terminal. "These files still need to be read. It does no good to waste all that energy hacking them not to read them. One of them has to have some useful information for us."

"Useful. Right. Do you know what time it is?" Omi tapped his watch meaningfully.

Nagi glanced at his taskbar clock. "5:49."

"In the morning," Omi said. He reached past Nagi, saved the files with a few efficient keystrokes, and closed down the terminal. "As Persia, I want you to go home, get some sleep, then take tomorrow off. Go do something—"

"Fun," Nagi finished for him, his voice flat.

"Right!" Omi said. He then realized that he didn't know what "fun" would entail for the TK. "What do you do for fun, anyway?"

Nagi stared at the logoff sequence as he thought about it. "I don't know," he finally was forced to admit.

Omi stared at him blankly. How could someone not know something like that? Maybe Nagi didn't want to tell him. Or was afraid that Omi would think he was a slacker for having a life outside work. If it was the latter, Omi would have to work on that. He thought about that problem, then realized that he had the answer. "Do you like music, Nagi?"

"Music? What kind?"

"Any kind. What do you like to listen to?"

Nagi shrugged. "I like popular music, I guess. And classical, too." He didn't listen to a lot of classical, but that had been all that Crawford had listened to, and Nagi had always liked what he had heard, even if he didn't know Bach from Chopin.

"Oh, good," Omi said. "Why don't we meet at the south gate of the park around three this afternoon?"

"Okay," Nagi said warily. A large yawn escaped him, to his chagrin.

"But that's for later. Go home now," Omi commanded gently. He shepherded Nagi out of the building. Once Nagi was gone, Omi picked up the phone and called Rex. "Rex? I won't be in until later this morning, and I gave the day off to Nagi. Also, could you check on something for me. . ."

----

Nagi sighed as he waited impatiently near the park's gate. Why was he here? He had to admit, Omi had been right to send him home. He had slept like the dead for most of the day. Too many late nights. He was used to them, but it was still nice to sleep in his own bed, not on a desk somewhere.

"Hey, Nagi!"

Nagi hesitantly waved back at the exuberantly waving Omi.

Omi trotted over. "Hope you weren't waiting long," he said apologetically.

"Not at all," Nagi politely demurred. "What are we doing here?"

"Enjoying music on the lawn," Omi said, waving Nagi ahead with a flourish.

"Music on the lawn?"

"Yes," Omi said. He pointed out which fork of the path Nagi should take. "Two or three times a year, the orchestra does a performance in the park. It's free and always nice, if the weather's good. You don't have to dress up, and you can eat what you like," Omi held up a picnic basket.

Omi found a clear spot, handed Nagi the basket, and spread out a cheery red and white checkered cloth. Nagi watched Omi dubiously. Once Omi had the cloth to his satisfaction, he took the basket from Nagi and began to unpack it. Nagi found a smile lifting his lips as Omi displayed the last items out the basket: two slices of melon torte.

He settled on his corner and began to nibble at the feast that Omi had provided. "We can't eat all this," he said.

"Don't have to," Omi told him cheerfully. "I didn't know what you would like, so I brought a variety of things. I knew that something here would have to interest you."

Nagi looked at the plethora of foodstuffs. "I see."

"Look!" Omi pointed to the stage. The musicians had finished tuning their instruments and were starting their performance. Nagi smiled as a familiar opening strain filled the air. He didn't know the name to this piece, but it must have been one of Crawford's favorites. Nagi had heard it often enough to recognize it in the first three notes. He opened a Coca-Cola in the American's honor and wondered what Crawford and Schuldig were doing.

----


	2. Chapter 2: Back to School—Rosenkreuz Re...

**Chapter 2: Back to School—Rosenkreuz Registration

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For the enemy has persecuted my soul; He has crushed my life to the ground; He has made me dwell in darkness, Like those who have long been dead.  
-- **Psalms 143:3**

Nagi was uncomfortably aware of the weight of his book bag the whole way home. His impassive face relaxed a little when he opened the door to his apartment to the ecstatic welcome of his cat, Jei. Jei threaded through his legs, rubbing against Nagi's shins, ankles, feet, whatever he could reach. Nagi let the book bag fall to the floor with a thump just inside the door.

He nudged Jei back just enough to close the door, shutting out the outside world for the night. He toed off his shoes and put on his house slippers, then picked up Jei, allowing the cat to ride his shoulder as he turned to reluctantly pick up his bag again. Uncharacteristically, he contemplated leaving it in the entryway, to sit ignored until time to go to work again. Training prevented him from avoiding the work that it contained. With a sigh, he hefted the bag onto the shoulder that Jei wasn't riding on and hauled it to Schuldig's old room.

He flicked on the light, revealing a neat office. After Schuldig had moved out, Nagi had sold off the furniture and had the office set up. The empty third bedroom stayed empty. Since Schuldig had left, he hadn't gone in there. Most days, he forgot it was there. Even with the new furniture, he still felt as if his office was still Schuldig's room. Sometimes, he thought he caught a whiff of Schuldig's imported cigarettes or his cologne.

Today, that nagging feeling was stronger than usual. He stopped just before the desk, then turned around and went back out to his room. He dropped the bag on his desk there. It was where he usually did his schoolwork. Nagi the student would have to share the desk with Nagi the Kritiker agent for these particular files. He didn't like the overlap, but he liked Schuldig's absence hovering around like a ghost even less.

He stared at the bag in trepidation, then took a deep breath. Jei, who had been quietly riding his shoulder the whole time, jumped off onto the desk. He watched solemnly as Nagi briskly unzipped the bag and took out the stack of files from it. He dropped them on the desk as soon as they cleared the bag, like he found the brief contact distasteful. Jei's eyes squeezed shut, and the tip of his tail flicked. Nagi petted the almost-grown cat lightly with his fingertips, scratching when the cat leaned in to his touch.

"Do you know what that is, Jei?" Nagi asked the purring cat. Jei opened his eyes and mewed at Nagi.

Nagi's mouth turned down. "Of course you didn't. I wish I didn't either." He shooed the cat off the desk. Jei jumped on the bed and curled up on Nagi's pillow to sulk. Nagi wished he could join Jei on the bed, just lay his head down and sleep. Maybe when he woke, the folders will be gone. Nagi scoffed. He was too old to believe in fairytales.

He sat down and stared at the stack. He may be too old for fables, but he knew from personal experience that there were dark things in the woods. And dark places. Like Rosenkreuz. He flipped open the folder on top, read the information there. Distaste and fear curled in his belly as he read. As much as he tried to see otherwise, the information was undeniable. All the paths led to Rosenkreuz's cold iron gates.

He could see those gates in his mind, even though he had only seen them twice—the first time when he was entering Rosenkreuz, the last when he was leaving it. They had been imposing, black sentinels to a small, frightened and confused child. Crawford had found him in Japan and brought him to Rosenkreuz for training. And Rosenkreuz had trained him. He had practiced and strived every waking moment, pushed into developing and strengthening his talent.

There had been no other option. Failure in these grueling classes didn't mean a bad grade. It usually meant death. Nagi's youth had not spared him the exacting curriculum. He had worked as hard as students twice his age, and no allowances had been made for him. He had found himself working harder than some, actually. He had spoken only a little English and no German when he had passed through Rosenkreuz's gates. When he left, he had spoken flawless German and passable English.

That he had mastered his talent was without doubt. If he hadn't passed Rosenkreuz's punishing 'final exam,' he wouldn't have left through that gate. Not living, anyway. To be fair, he hadn't been mistreated, exactly. The instructors were never cruel, only the curriculum. They never yelled or harmed anyone physically. They didn't have to harm anyone for all their pupils to fear them. They were agents of death, and all the students were aware of that, every hour of every day. Fear darkened that place, tainted it. It could be smelled in the dorms, tasted in the cafeteria, and felt everywhere on that barricaded campus.

Rosenkreuz was where Nagi had learned that there was more things scarier than a raised hand or thrown stone. That hurt, fear and pain weren't just inflicted physically. That scars could happen on more than the body, that the heart, soul and mind were just as susceptible. Nagi still carried his scars. They were evident in his reluctance to accept the obvious conclusions in front of him, a reluctance that had led to the weeks of sleepless nights trying to ferret out another cause.

Even now that he was gone from Rosenkreuz, it still had a hold on him. He would always associate Rosenkreuz with the feeling of fear. He felt that now, thousands of miles from that insular campus. He didn't want to fall under the cold shadow of Rosenkreuz again. But he might not have a choice. Persia was getting impatient to wrap this up, to begin the hunt for the "dark beasts" responsible for the disappearances of sixteen teenagers.

What was Nagi to tell him? That these "dark beasts" weren't Kritiker's typical prey? The people of Rosenkreuz weren't prey. They were predators. Top of the food chain. Nagi set the folder aside, propped his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his clasped hands. He stared unseeingly at the files scattered in front of him. He knew what had to be done. A light touch against his leg made him start and look down.

Jei mewed up at him, demanding to be picked up. Nagi complied, depositing the feline on his lap. "Well Jei, it looks like I'm going back to Rosenkreuz."

----

"Rosenkreuz," Omi said, summarizing Nagi's report.

Nagi's silence was confirmation enough. Omi tapped the file on his desk. "I'll send Crashers. All we need to do is find out where Rosenkreuz has the children."

"No," Nagi said. "Send me. I'll find them and retrieve them, if possible. I'm Kritiker's only chance."

Omi raised a brow. "Crashers is a good team, one of Kritiker's best for this sort of thing."

"I don't doubt that," Nagi said. "But Rosenkreuz and Esset are intertwined. If you thought Schwarz was tough. . ."

"I see," Omi said. "But I can't send you alone."

"I understand," Nagi said without rancor. "My previous ties to Rosenkreuz would make that unwise."

"No, it's not that, Nagi-kun!" Omi stood up and came around the desk to where Nagi was standing. "I trust you," he said quietly. "It's just..." Omi stared down at his hands, wondering how to put the next.

"It's just what?"

"I don't like the idea of sending any of my people against such a threat alone." Omi leaned against the edge of his desk. "So I'll go with you as back up."

"Back up?" Nagi didn't know whether to be touched or insulted. Schwarz rarely dealt with that concept. They went where the Oracle deemed them most useful, alone more often than not. Except in the case of Farfarello. But that was a different matter all together. Farfarello didn't need back up. More like a leash or a restraining hand.

"Yes. We'll leave once we get the last reports from our European agents," Omi told him.

"Why you?" Nagi narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "You're Persia. You're needed more here. This mission could be dangerous. If anything was to happen to you—"

"I'm not worried about that," Omi said. "I'm sure I won't come to harm. I'm more worried about you."

Nagi then knew that Omi had been aware all this time of Nagi's trepidation of going back to Rosenkreuz. "Who's going with me," he asked softly, "Bombay or Persia?"

"Omi is," Omi told him gently. He approached and put a tentative hand on Nagi's shoulder. Nagi stiffened instinctively, then forced himself to relax.

"All right," Nagi said abruptly, then stepped away from Omi's friendly touch. His face didn't show distaste, however, just a hint of confusion and hesitant warmth. Omi stepped back, business once again, giving Nagi the space he needed. That hint of warmth would have to be carefully nurtured. It had been a seed long left in the dark. Too much sun could kill it, rather than cause it to grow.

Omi watched Nagi leave his office. Nagi was special to Kritiker for his computer savvy, his intelligence, his cool nerve and his talents. But Nagi was also special in ways that he didn't know yet. Omi hoped that he could open Nagi's eyes to those aspects of himself.

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A/N:  
Sorry it took so long to post. I'm trying to keep 'Cathedrals of the Mind' and this fic parallel, so it has been extra effort for me. I don't think I'll be trying anything this ambitious again! 

Yanagi-sen: You're very welcome. Omi's good for Nagi, in my opinion.

TrenchcoatMan: Thank you. Information is always appreciated. Due to my woeful lack of knowledge on the drama CDs, I had already resigned myself to the fact that this arc is going to be slightly AU. But there is always next time. . .


	3. Chapter 3: Going to the Movies

**Chapter 3: Going to the Movies

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**

"Nagi-kun. What are you doing after work today?" Omi's question stopped Nagi as he was packing up to leave for the day.

Nagi shrugged. "Probably go over those files that Rex gave me."

"Those Dai International files?"

"Yes."

"Hmm. Those don't need to be done right away. Why don't you accompany me tonight?" Omi looked at Nagi hopefully.

"Is this an official function?" Nagi asked. He hoped not. He must have grown since the last time he wore a suit, because none of the ones he had fit him anymore. They were too short. In trying to assimilate his new role in Kritiker, he hadn't had time to go get some new ones.

"Official? Like formal? No, no. As a matter of fact, it's going to be very informal. Dress casually."

"Very well. Where are we going?"

"To the movies," Omi said, brandishing a pair of tickets. "I just got tickets to a sneak preview to the new Jackie Chan movie."

"Jackie Chan?"

"Yeah! Come on Nagi, it'll be fun," Omi coaxed, smiling.

Nagi looked at Omi. When he smiled like that, it was impossible to believe that he was a killer, and now the new head of a secret organization dedicated to the pursuit of justice that had escaped the law. He looked like. . . a teenager. Like what he should be. Nagi felt himself smile in return. "Okay."

----

Nagi let Omi lead him through the theater. He still wasn't sure what to make of it. It was all a new experience to him, and he told Omi so.

"What!" Omi turned incredulously to Nagi. "You've never just, you know, hung out with the guys?"

Nagi silently looked around the packed theater. There was a large group of kids clowning around in the front two rows. Several young couples were scattered here and there sitting stiffly, nervous yet excited to be in each other's company. A few older couples were sprinkled in, sharing affectionate glances and overpriced popcorn. Several groups of friends, chatting amiably as they waited for the move to start. So— normal. "Omi, think of the 'guys' you are talking about. Crawford. Schuldig. Farfarello."

The two teens were silent for a moment as they thought of the ones in question in this very theater. Schuldig, sitting next to Crawford with a smirk on his face, nudging unsuspecting movie-goers into loud, and for him, entertaining fights. What did he need movies for? He could make his own entertainment. Crawford would sit there, bored and out of place in that youthful boisterness. He would leave within the first ten minutes. After all, why stay? He knew how it was going to end. And Farfarello. . .

"Uh, never mind," Omi said with a shudder. "Let's just enjoy your first movie."

----

A/N: Sorry so short, guys. This one's kinda on haitus until I can get to a good stopping point on 'Cathedrals,' then I can turn my attentions back to this fic. I have clear plans for it, though. Let's just hope I can carry them out.  
TrenchcoatMan – Omi is good for Nagi. And the lack of canon will work in my favor this time, I think.  
Yanagi-sen – Nagi's going to get even more confused yet, I fear. Should be fun.  
Precognition74 – Thanks for giving CotM a look! Omi's good at what he does, he'll find a way to help Nagi out.  
Kye Syr – Thanks for the sweet compliments! I'm always thrilled to hear that people are reading and enjoying my stories. Don't worry, none of this will remain unfinished, I promise that! Ch. 8 of CotM is going up today.


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